Oh Ziegfeld Girls

StumbleUpon brought me this great series of photos of turn of the century Ziegfeld showgirls. And now I know why they called him "glorifier of the American girl".

Wikipedia Knowlege Dump

I'm in love with the Wikipedia Knowledge Dump, a site where bad wikipedia articles go to die. Using the motto "one man's trash is another man's treasure", the blog is filled with all the posts that didn't meet Wikipedia's requirements. While a majority are about shitty bands, theres still plenty of interesting stuff, such as a list of Homer Simpson's Lifelong Dreams, a list of Porn Star Mothers, or an article on the use of thumbtacks in Professional Wrestling.

Like Zenzizenzizenzic:

Zenzizenzizenzic is the eighth power or exponent of a number. For example the zenzizenzizenzic of 2 is 256. It was suggested by Robert Recorde, a 16th century Welsh writer of popular mathematics textbooks, in The Whetstone of Witte, published in 1557, although his spelling was zenzizenzizenzike. It is obsolete except as a curiosity; the Oxford English Dictionary has only one citation for it. It survives as an historical oddity.

Or this biography of Cathy O'Brien:

In her books and lectures, O'Brien relates allegations that, as a child, she was abducted into an alleged CIA mind control project called Project Monarch (supposedly a subsection of MKULTRAProject Artichoke). She claims to have remained in Monarch as an adult, while she served as "a top-level intelligence agent and White House sex slave"[1] until rescued by Phillips.

O'Brien claims to have been abused since she was a toddler. Forced to partake in satanic sadomasochistic child pornography movies produced for Gerald Ford, she was eventually sold to the CIA, which was looking for traumatized children for their mind-control program.

Or Loudest Band In The World:

The Who was once listed as the record holder, at 126 decibels, measured at a distance of 32 metres from the speakers at a concert at Fillmore East on 1976-05-31. Other previous record holders include Deep Purple (117 decibels), The Rolling Stones (which replaced Deep Purple), and KISS. Metallica has styled itself the "loudest band in the world". However, after one concert on 1997-11-11, which the band dubbed the "Million Decibel March", the Philadelphia Inquirer reported that "neighbours who [had] feared the worst from the self-styled Loudest Band in the World complained more about the sound from the news choppers circling overhead".

Or The Satan Claus Theory:

Satan Claus is a theory that Santa Claus is actually an alias for Satan. The theory is based primarily on the fact that "Santa" could be an anagram for "Satan." This theory is a popular belief among many Christian communities.

Other evidence is the fact that Saint Nicholas, the origin of Santa, could have never existed. Ole Nick was a fallen Angel. Nick is a common nickname for Santa. (e.g. Old Saint Nicholaus) Old Nick is a British term for "the devil". Nicholas is one of the most common names for the devil, for Germans.

Many Christians are infuriated with the fact that Santa shares, or in some cases takes the spotlight from Jesus at Christmas time.

Kirk Wants To Hug The Mountain

Sad Fish is Sad

Or rather, Blobfish is blob.

This deep sea fish is often found at extreme depths off of the coasts of Tasmania and Australia. For this reaseon the Blobfish is rarely seen by the human eye. The Blobfish has the ability to withstand the high pressure of these depths because its body is actually mostly a gelatinour mass that has a density just less than water. This gives the Blobfish the ability to actually float right above the bottom floor without using much energy.

Officers Serving Warrant Play Wii Bowling

Polk County Police, while serving the search warrant of a drug dealer, were recorded by a webcam playing a game of bowling on the suspects Wii.

As investigators searched the home for drugs, some drug task force members found other ways to occupy their time. Within 20 minutes of entering Difalco's house, some of the investigators found a Wii video bowling game and began bowling frame after frame.

While some detectives hauled out evidence such as flat screen televisions and shotguns, others threw strikes, gutter balls and worked on picking up spares.

My favorite part of the story is that the officers were part of a "High Intensity Drug Trafficking Area (HIDTA) task force". I bet thats what their Xbox Live guild is named.

Skateboarders Make Real Life Tetris

The video says neon, but I suspect these skateboarders are using EL-wire to simulate a game of Tetris on a dark San Francisco street.

THE CASK OF AMONTILLADO!

Sorry to post two videos in a row, but as long as I'm linking to vimeo I might as well throw in this short film based on my favorite Poe story.

THE CASK OF AMONTILLADO by Edgar Allan Poe from Mario Cavalli on Vimeo.

Eggs And Sausage

Eggs and Sausage from Jackie Lay on Vimeo.

Loving the typography in this Tom Waits music video.

Shitty Tribal Tattoos

Tribal tattoos are, in general, a bad idea. They don't mean anything, and are usually just co-opted from other cultures. Plus you look like a gay pornstar when you have a lot of them.

Baby Hand Soap

Because there's absolutely nothing creepy about washing your body with the hands of babies.

The Grizzly-Bear Chair

Seth Kinman was a Californian hunter, famous for presenting Presidents with exquisitely crafted mountain-man furniture. He once presented Abraham Lincoln with a fiddle made from the skull of his favorite mule.

The Many Forms of Mario

So I guess Wario would be a Covenant?

I'm sure Mario made his wrench-saber while deep in meditation, as per Jedi tradition.

You Don't Nomi

"I just do the simple, things, that a simple man, can!"

Lighter Cufflinks

CoolMaterial refers to itself as the site of "What Men Really Want." Looking at these lighter-cufflinks, I can definitely say that yes, it is. And for only $40, too.

Bush Administration Refused To Give Medal to JK Rowling Because Of Witchcraft

All this week, Think Progress has been posting funny/insane segments from the new book by former Bush speechwriter Matt Latimer, Speechless: Tales of a White House Survivor. Of the many charges the book makes, I can't help but laugh at the fact that JK Rowling was refused the Presidential Medal of Freedom because Bush officials objected to Harry Potter and its encouragement of witchcraft.

The Presidential Medal of Freedom is awarded to an individual (regardless of nationality) for "an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors." Which apparently includes neither Senator Ted Kennedy or author JK Rowling.

[President Bush's chief speechwriter] Marc [Thiessen] liked to encourage a broad range of opinions from others, so long as theirs agreed with his. When Ted Kennedy was diagnosed with a brain tumor, I suggested that the president might at least consider awarding Kennedy the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Marc objected with the genteel diplomacy he was known for.

'That's crazy!' he thundered. Kennedy was a liberal, he noted (of which I was well aware). ...This was the same sort of narrow thinking that led people in the White House to actually object to giving the author J.K. Rowling a presidential medal because the Harry Potter books encouraged witchcraft.

It's hard to tell what the real motivation of the decision was - were they worried that honoring the author would offend the millions of fundamentalist Christian voters whom the administration had built their political base off of, or did born-agains within the administration actually take great issue with the Harry Potter novels?

In any case, the article then goes on to point out how entirely coincidental it is that only those who supported the Iraq War seemed to be awarded the medal while Bush was in office.

R2-D2 With 8 Consoles Inside

HackNMod has this crazy project of putting 8 consoles into an R2-D2 case. Best part? The working projector inside the dome.

Sonogram Tattoo

Not sure of the origins of this tattoo, but I think whoever got it was honoring a stillborn child or something like that. Either way its got beautiful shading that would be ruined should she ever actually get pregnant.

To Boldly Go

Summon all the funk of Captain James Tiberius Kirk's scent for intergalactic poon-tang.

Pear-Buddha

Though its entirely in Spanish, this site has molds that you can use to grow pears into the shape of Buddhas.

So Bad It's Good: Unicorn Edition

Sometimes, tattoos can be so bad they come out the other end and are good again. Sometimes, those tattoos have unicorns in them.

This is the sort of tattoo I would get if I went to prison and had to join the white-supremacist gang to survive.

Hand Grenade MP3 Mod

NYC Resistor has made one of the sexiest mp3 case mods I've ever seen by hollowing out a decommissioned training grenade. I probably would in fact commit homicide to have one of these, but I'm not really sure I want to be tackled by overzealous subway cops everytime I want to change a track.

Lumos!

I love this Magic Wand remote control that you use by actually waving around. It comes with about 14 different 'gestures' you can use to do almost anything a normal remote can. Their site is pretty nifty, too.

MIT Hackers Rickroll Great Dome

Under cover of night, an anonymous group of engineering geniuses recently scaled the campus' iconic Great Dome and installed the first seven notes of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" on temporary scaffolding, cleverly noting the resemblance of its horizontal lines to a blank piece of sheet music.

The Great Dome at MIT has always been targeted for great pranks - past years painted the top to look like R2D2, or encircled it with The One Ring (to rule them all!). Honestly I think this is my new favorite.

Mark Growden - St. Judas

Surprising Amount of New Jerseyites Think Obama Antichrist

21% of those polled in New Jersey think Barack Obama might in fact be the Anti-Christ. That number, of course, is significantly higher among conservatives. But still, weird.

Belly-Button As Sphincter

I'd just love to be a fly on the wall when this guy told his parents. "Son, what retarded desire did you have to turn your navel into an asshole for the rest of your life?"

Obama-Wan Kenobi

Via The Official Star Wars Blog comes photographic proof of our Presidents Jedi powers.

The picture is originally from Newsweek:

Here’s President Obama dueling with, yes, a Star Wars lightsaber at an event held this afternoon at the White House to promote Chicago’s bid for the 2016 Olympics.

Reminds me of this action figure of Obama (seen here with former Vice-President Cheney) from Japan that was sold around the time of the inauguration.

Nissan Adds Bladerunner Sound To Hybrids

Nissan hybrids and electric cars are so quiet that some are worried they're unsafe for blind pedestrians or others who can't hear the vehicle approaching. The solution, as always, is to consult Bladerunner.

“We decided that if we’re going to do this, if we have to make sound, then we’re going to make it beautiful and futuristic,” Tabata said.

The company consulted Japanese composers of film scores. What Tabata and his six-member team came up with is a high- pitched sound reminiscent of the flying cars in “Blade Runner,” the 1982 film directed by Ridley Scott portraying his dystopian vision of 2019.

“We wanted something a bit different, something closer to the world of art,” Tabata said.

Basic Emoti-KHANS

"In space, Kirk, it is very very cold."

Insane Killer Escapes From Field Trip to County Fair

SPOKANE, Wash. - Authorities have put out a statewide alert for a mentally ill killer who escaped during a hospital field trip to a county fair, leading to fears that he'll become more unstable and potentially dangerous the longer he is on the loose with no medication.

Paul was committed after he was acquitted by reason of insanity in the 1987 slaying of an elderly woman in Sunnyside. He soaked the woman's body in gasoline to throw off search dogs and buried the remains in her flower garden. He reportedly said voices in his head told him she was a witch.

"What could possibly go wrong with taking an insane killer to the state fair?"

Plans to Convert Bay Bridge to Livable Neighborhood

Bay Area architects Ronald Rael and Virginia San Fratello have recommended taking the disused section of the Oakland Bay Bridge, left abandoned following recent renovations, and constructing an urbanized neighborhood rather than destroying the still structurally sound bridge. While for the most part the plans show parks, swimming pools, and walkable views of the bay, the report goes on to state "The immense load capacity of rail bridges allows for the support of program beyond that of parks, suggesting the urbanization of bridges."


Very cool, especially considering William Gibson has repeatedly had such ideas in his novels, referring to them as interstitial living spaces. Though unlikely to actually happen, I would definitely love to live on the "Bay Line."

Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh to Appear On Family Guy

Karl Rove was recently contacted by the Fox Network to voice himself in a new episode of Family Guy. Though hesitant at first, the former Bush Administration Chief of Staff (who apparently hadn't even heard of the show) agreed after learning Rush Limbaugh would appear as well.

"I had a telephone conversation with the creator, who is a completely mindless liberal and had an incredibly tasteless joke in the script that I had to talk him out of, but it was a sign of how much he needed a conservative in order to make this program succeed," said Rove. "I play myself, meaning the son of Satan, the spawn of evil."

Glenn Beck's Logo Based On Communist Designs

Following Glenn Becks insane ramblings on communist references in Rockefeller Plaza art, I was amused to find this LATimes story about how the red fist in the logo for the 9/12 Tax Payer March (organized almost entirely by Glenn Beck and advertised by Fox News) can be directly traced to a firmly pro-communist and pro-labor lineage.

Unity and resistance are what the fist represented in 1917, when it was first employed by the Industrial Workers of the World, a union organization founded by socialists. And in the 1940s, when it stood for various nations' communist party organizations.

That's also what it meant when it was revived in the 1960s, appearing as a symbol for the SDS, as well as anti-war and feminist movements. It was the basis for the black-power salute given by John Carlos and Tommie Smith at the 1968 Mexico City Olympics. And today, it's the symbol for the Progressive Labor Party (pictured), a political outfit whose website says it "fights to smash capitalism."

It goes deeper than you can ever know.

So You Say You Want A Revolution

Tom Tomorrow links to this slideshow of the crowd at one of those 9/12 conservative 'tea-party' movements, with an extensive look at the signs.

"Um... what?"

This pisses me off for two reasons. 1) The term czar is one that only the media has been pushing through its excessive red-baiting. 2) Didn't the communists depose and murder the czars? Somebody's mixing their metaphors.

I Guess He Really Likes That Band

Band tattoos are a tricky thing - choose poorly, and you're just setting yourself up to be mocked eternally for your bad taste in music.

'Nuff Said.

"Well, kids, when I was about your age, there was this singer called Britney Spears, and she shaved all her hair off... it was really funny at the time."

As much as I want to make fun of this tattoo, I'm too busy thinking about how awesome it would be to live in a country with Judas Priest rockin' out as the Founding Fathers on Mt. Rushmore.

"Originally I just kept putting a bunch of bumper stickers on my back, but I figured this would be cheaper in the long run."

You're A Good Man, Gregor Brown

From the New Yorker:

For twenty years, the cartoonist R. Sikoryak has been creating parody strips of literary masterpieces, casting familiar cartoon characters in classic roles—Little Lulu as Pearl Prynne, Little Nemo as Dorian Gray, Charlie Brown as Gregor Samsa. If you’re like me, and you sometimes like your serious literature with a side of Beavis and Butthead (see Sikoryak’s take on “Waiting for Godot”), you will probably laugh out loud over Masterpiece Comics, a collection of thirteen of these strips, just out from Drawn & Quarterly.

Sounds like a must-buy to me.

Letters to Christopher Walken

As part of an artist-in-residence program, Brandon Bird had children send their Christmas letters to Christopher Walken instead of Santa Claus, with wondrously hilarious results.

McCain Booed For Stating Obama "Respects the Constitution"

Poor McCain.

During a town hall meeting, a woman asks the former GOP candidate if President Obama is aware that the United States operates under a Constitution. When he responds that he is sure the President has a great deal of respect for the Constitution, the crowd quickly resorts to booing. Points to McCain for standing his ground and not catering to the crowds baser instincts, though.



I'm firmly reminded of McCain's gracious concession speech following the 2008 election - a speech that helped to restore some dignity to what was undoubtedly one of the dirtiest campaigns of televised politics. As the Senator from Arizona congratulates his opponent for mobilizing voters, the crowd comes off as hostile and contentious, by the end going so far as to boo and heckle any mention of Obama. At one point the audience even interrupts McCain's remarks with chants of "U.S.A! U.S.A!"

Mao Mao

Check out this song from 1967 by Nino Ferrer.

Vacuum Tube Clock Kit

Check out this awesome Russian tube clock. $70 is a lot for something that a $2 radio clock could do. And yet... I still must have it.

Weasels Ripped My Flesh

From Wikipedia comes the news of how a 1970s Zappa album got both its name and cover design from a men's magazine that I have to find a copy of.

Frank Zappa recruited artist Neon Park to create a subversive image based on a cover story from the September 1956 issue of Man's Life, a men's adventure magazine. After showing Neon a copy of the magazine, Zappa inquired, "This is it. What can you do that's worse than this?" Neon's answer was to craft a parody of an advertisement for Schick brand electric razor based on the "Weasels Ripped My Flesh" theme.

German releases of the album featured an album cover showing a metal baby caught in a rat trap. This cover was not approved by Zappa.

I guess you can do a lot worse than that.

Stupid Eye Tattoos

For the most part I've been posting good tattoos here, but awful ones are so much more interesting in their own right.

Like tattoos of eyes on different parts of your body. Because even though its stupid, pointless, and in certain cases horribly crass, it's actually a thing that people do a lot.

Winking Butt-Cleavage. For the rest of your life.

I guess if you're avidly into mooning people its funny to have a winking ass-face.