Brown Wins Special Election

Spotted on a freeway in Massachusetts.

Bong Water Now Illegal

For those who don't like to go that long without hearing a new and absurd Supreme Court ruling, the Minnesota Supreme Court has found in a split-decision that you can be charged with a 1st degree felony for possession of over 25 grams of bong water. The ruling comes after a woman was found with 37 grams (less than three tablespoons) of bong water that tested positive for methamphetamine.

As a result of the testimony of narcotics officer Rauenhorst (who was neither present for nor involved with the search in question) to the effect that drug-users sometimes save bong-water “for future use . . . either drinking it or shooting it in the veins” the woman will now more than likely go to prison for more than 7 years, even though absolutely no evidence was presented that the defendant intended to do such a disgusting thing.

You can almost hear the veins popping in the dissenting judges opinion:

The majority‟s decision to permit bong water to be used to support a first-degree felony controlled-substance charge runs counter to the legislative structure of our drug laws, does not make common sense, and borders on the absurd.
...
But if we treat the bong water as paraphernalia, the same defendant would receive a fine of no more than $300 dollars and a petty misdemeanor conviction that would not go on his or her criminal record. The disparity in the severity of the sentence between these two possible charges is enormous. This enormous disparity in sentencing severity creates ambiguity as to how the legislature intended the drug statutes to apply to the facts of this case.
...
I conclude that it is also unreasonable to interpret our legislature‟s laws as punishing Peck‟s possession of two and one-half tablespoons of bong water as a more serious crime than the possession of 24 grams of cocaine, heroin, or methamphetamine. Bong water is normally not consumed, and Peck would likely have disposed of it had the police not seized it.

I'm further enraged by the courts ruling that bong water counts as a drug mixture, defining “mixture” as “a preparation, compound, mixture, or substance containing a controlled substance, regardless of purity," essentially meaning trace amounts of any drug can now be classified as full-scale possession.

Of course everyone's just going to make bad jokes about how gross bong-water tastes instead of actually standing up to this bullshit.

Target Removes "Illegal Alien" Costume

Retailers Target, Toys R Us and Meijer have removed a Halloween costume depicting an 'Illegal Alien' after complaints from several organizations, though at this moment Amazon and Walgreens continue to stock theirs. The product description reads:

He didn’t just cross a border, he crossed a galaxy! He’s got his green card, but it’s from another planet! Sure to get some laughs, the Illegal Alien Adult Costume includes an orange prison-style jumpsuit with “Illegal Alien” printed on the front, an alien mask and a “green card.”

The Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles wrote a letter to retailers asking them to stop selling the item. Executive director Angelica Salas called it “distasteful, mean-spirited, and ignorant of social stigmas and current debate on immigration reform.”

Halloween Express, however, is selling a separate mask that would probably go even better with whatever offensive costume you're trying to put together.

Target claims the costume wasn't even supposed to be on their site or catalogue, and were quick to apologize.

Of course, as with every other costume, there is a 'Sexy' alternative for women which comes with a metallic dress, festive sombrero, alien sunglasses and handcuffs (?). So far, there seems to be absolutely no controversy over this one.

Quite predictably, Fox News sees nothing wrong with the costume - they are, after all, the chief users of the illegal alien pejorative. Watch it here.

Left-Wing Conspiracy Charts

Media Matters for America has a collection of some of Glenn Beck's funnier conspiracy charts. I especially like the Che-Guevara-ACORN-Mumia-Al-Jabar connection, though there's also the rising tide of OLIGARHY.

Bush Administration Refused To Give Medal to JK Rowling Because Of Witchcraft

All this week, Think Progress has been posting funny/insane segments from the new book by former Bush speechwriter Matt Latimer, Speechless: Tales of a White House Survivor. Of the many charges the book makes, I can't help but laugh at the fact that JK Rowling was refused the Presidential Medal of Freedom because Bush officials objected to Harry Potter and its encouragement of witchcraft.

The Presidential Medal of Freedom is awarded to an individual (regardless of nationality) for "an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors." Which apparently includes neither Senator Ted Kennedy or author JK Rowling.

[President Bush's chief speechwriter] Marc [Thiessen] liked to encourage a broad range of opinions from others, so long as theirs agreed with his. When Ted Kennedy was diagnosed with a brain tumor, I suggested that the president might at least consider awarding Kennedy the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Marc objected with the genteel diplomacy he was known for.

'That's crazy!' he thundered. Kennedy was a liberal, he noted (of which I was well aware). ...This was the same sort of narrow thinking that led people in the White House to actually object to giving the author J.K. Rowling a presidential medal because the Harry Potter books encouraged witchcraft.

It's hard to tell what the real motivation of the decision was - were they worried that honoring the author would offend the millions of fundamentalist Christian voters whom the administration had built their political base off of, or did born-agains within the administration actually take great issue with the Harry Potter novels?

In any case, the article then goes on to point out how entirely coincidental it is that only those who supported the Iraq War seemed to be awarded the medal while Bush was in office.

Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh to Appear On Family Guy

Karl Rove was recently contacted by the Fox Network to voice himself in a new episode of Family Guy. Though hesitant at first, the former Bush Administration Chief of Staff (who apparently hadn't even heard of the show) agreed after learning Rush Limbaugh would appear as well.

"I had a telephone conversation with the creator, who is a completely mindless liberal and had an incredibly tasteless joke in the script that I had to talk him out of, but it was a sign of how much he needed a conservative in order to make this program succeed," said Rove. "I play myself, meaning the son of Satan, the spawn of evil."

Glenn Beck's Logo Based On Communist Designs

Following Glenn Becks insane ramblings on communist references in Rockefeller Plaza art, I was amused to find this LATimes story about how the red fist in the logo for the 9/12 Tax Payer March (organized almost entirely by Glenn Beck and advertised by Fox News) can be directly traced to a firmly pro-communist and pro-labor lineage.

Unity and resistance are what the fist represented in 1917, when it was first employed by the Industrial Workers of the World, a union organization founded by socialists. And in the 1940s, when it stood for various nations' communist party organizations.

That's also what it meant when it was revived in the 1960s, appearing as a symbol for the SDS, as well as anti-war and feminist movements. It was the basis for the black-power salute given by John Carlos and Tommie Smith at the 1968 Mexico City Olympics. And today, it's the symbol for the Progressive Labor Party (pictured), a political outfit whose website says it "fights to smash capitalism."

It goes deeper than you can ever know.

So You Say You Want A Revolution

Tom Tomorrow links to this slideshow of the crowd at one of those 9/12 conservative 'tea-party' movements, with an extensive look at the signs.

"Um... what?"

This pisses me off for two reasons. 1) The term czar is one that only the media has been pushing through its excessive red-baiting. 2) Didn't the communists depose and murder the czars? Somebody's mixing their metaphors.

McCain Booed For Stating Obama "Respects the Constitution"

Poor McCain.

During a town hall meeting, a woman asks the former GOP candidate if President Obama is aware that the United States operates under a Constitution. When he responds that he is sure the President has a great deal of respect for the Constitution, the crowd quickly resorts to booing. Points to McCain for standing his ground and not catering to the crowds baser instincts, though.



I'm firmly reminded of McCain's gracious concession speech following the 2008 election - a speech that helped to restore some dignity to what was undoubtedly one of the dirtiest campaigns of televised politics. As the Senator from Arizona congratulates his opponent for mobilizing voters, the crowd comes off as hostile and contentious, by the end going so far as to boo and heckle any mention of Obama. At one point the audience even interrupts McCain's remarks with chants of "U.S.A! U.S.A!"

Struggle to Honor Harvey Milk

The LATimes is reporting on a controversy within California politics to honor slain gay rights activist Harvey Milks birthday.

Waves of phone calls, e-mails and faxes have been arriving in the Capitol for weeks from gay rights advocates and conservative Christians. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's office created a special phone line to handle the volume.

"There are days of special significance for John Muir, for the California poppy," said the proposal's author, Sen. Mark Leno (D-San Francisco). "Why would we not have such a day for this unique California hero?"

Conservatives are pushing hard for Schwarzenegger to veto Leno's legislation, which would proclaim Milk's May 22 birthday a day of recognition and encourage schools to consider commemorating his life.

Opponents say that singling out Milk would send the wrong message to children by endorsing homosexuality and lionizing a man with a controversial personal history. Some raise the specter of schools holding mock gay weddings and gay pride parades on campus.

Though Harvey Milk is admittedly a controversial character, it seems like a majority of the opposition is from people who are afraid that knowing gay people actually exist will be a huge moral detriment to their kids. Some parts of the story seem familiar though:

Kimberly Kennedy-Woods, an Elk Grove mother of two young sons and one of several parents who joined Thomasson on Thursday, vowed to pull her sons from public school if a Harvey Milk Day becomes a reality.

"I do not send my children to school to be sexually indoctrinated," she said.

Nearby, Alice Kessler of Equality California, a gay rights organization that fought Proposition 8, watched silently.

The movie Milk, if you've never seen it, is about progressive gay rights activists fighting a flagrantly homophobic state proposition that has overwhelming support from church-backed forces - what a different and quaint time the past must have been!

Making Yorba Linda Proud

Republican Assemblyman Michael Duvall from Yorba Linda, who sits on the “Rules Committee that oversees member ethics," was unfortunate enough to bring up his sexual affairs with two married lobbyists directly next to a live and wired microphone. He has since resigned.

One of the women has already been identified as Heidi De Jong Barsuglia, a lobbyist for the California utility giant Sempra Energy. While morally abysmal, you have to admit that the Assemblyman did pretty well.

Though I'd like to respect the disgraced politician's privacy, you can still see the (hilarious) comments he made here.

Predictably, the politician was a staunch supporter of "family values", getting 100% ratings from anti-gay groups for his conservative record.

Keep Your Hands Off My Medicare!

Perhaps the most amusing (or depressing, depending on how you look at it) part of the current health care 'debate' is how outraged people can get over things they obviously have no understanding of.

From the Washington Post:

In other pockets of the state, the reaction to Democratic proposals has been strong, too. At a recent town-hall meeting in suburban Simpsonville, a man stood up and told Rep. Robert Inglis (R-S.C.) to "keep your government hands off my Medicare."

"I had to politely explain that, 'Actually, sir, your health care is being provided by the government,' " Inglis recalled. "But he wasn't having any of it."

Scenes such as that repeat themselves all over the country - and in fact, a new study finds that 39% of Americans want just that: for the government to stay the hell out of their Medicare.

One poll question indicative of how difficult it is to gain public understanding on a complicated issue asked if respondents thought the government should ‘stay out of Medicare,’ something inherently impossible. 39% said yes.

Which isn't even counting the 15% who said they were not sure. I wonder how many of those people are the same seniors who Fox and the right have actually convinced to be afraid of death panels, 'pulling the plug on grandma', and other demagoguery.

The same poll shows that 38% of Americans either don't believe or are unsure about Obama being born in the United States. Which is distressing until you realize that 10% either don't know or aren't sure that Hawaii is in fact a state in the union.

In fact, most people seem to forget that Medicare, in addition to being a government run program, is an extremely good one. On MSNBC, when Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) began enumerating the benefits of Medicare, Maria Bartiromo childishly responded "how come you don't use it? You don't have it." To which Rep. Weiner responded, “Because I’m not 65. I would love it... Medicare for someone age 45? I would take it in a heartbeat, and frankly so would you."

Obama Calls For Students to Work Hard, Stay In School, Conservatives Respond With Outrage

In a recent interview with student reporter, Damon Weaver, President Obama announced that on September 8 -- the first day of school for many children across America -- he will deliver a national address directly to students on the importance of education. The President will challenge students to work hard, set educational goals, and take responsibility for their learning. He will also call for a shared responsibility and commitment on the part of students, parents and educators to ensure that every child in every school receives the best education possible so they can compete in the global economy for good jobs and live rewarding and productive lives as American citizens.

The other day I turned on Fox News to catch the tail end of a commercial warning of "your children being exposed" to someones "radical agenda." I wasn't entirely sure what they were talking about, but I knew it would be hilarious. It turns out President Obama's bland and innocuous Back-to-School announcement is driving people absolutely crazy. Many on the right have already made direct comparisons to Chairman Mao, the Hitler Youth, and other Orwellian regimes.

Glenn Beck has repeatedly referred to it as an "indoctrination", telling his viewers to be on guard, and that their republic is under attack.

On his own soapbox, Sean Hannity used essentially the same words, to which Michelle Malkin responded "We know that the left has always used kids in public schools as guinea pigs and as junior lobbyists for their social liberal agenda."

Fox News contributer Andrea Tantaros said "They do this type of thing in North Korea and the former Soviet Union," adding: "It seems very cultish, very sort of get in the minds of the kids."

Today's OC Register even has an editorial by Mark Steyn claiming that Obama is trying to develop a "cult of personality" similar to those of such dictators as Kim Jong-Il and Saddam Hussein.

Some are going so far as to keep their children from attending school that day in order to prevent them from hearing the President tell them to not drop out.

Pamela Geller writes:

The fascist in chief is taking his special brand of brainwashing to the classroom. Keep your kids home. I think this man is a threat to our basic unalienable rights. I don't want him indoctrinating my children. Seriously.

Ask your school what their participation is in this leftist indoctrination outrage. Keep politics out of the classroom. Keep communists and their propagandists away from small children.

A sentiment also voiced by Bryan Fischer of the contemptible AFA:

Unless we get public assurances from the White House that the president won't address health care or global warming or the homosexual agenda (under the color of "human rights for people different than us") this might be a great time for parents to exercise their opt-out authority and give their students a biography of George Washington to read while the President turns the minds of an entire generation to mush.

All of which is pretty, well, insane. Especially considering that President Bush Sr. did almost exactly the same thing in 1991, broadcasting a speech in classrooms "to motivate America's students to strive for excellence; to increase students' as well as parents' responsibility/accountability; and to promote students' and parents' awareness of the educational challenge we face," as did Reagan in 1988.

Furthermore, Reagan repeatedly 'proselytized' his discredited and debunked Reaganomics theory of tax cuts for the wealthy, and no one compared him to Hitler (well, at least in that context).

Glenn Beck, meet Dan Brown

With stunning logic, Beck ties together the art of the Rockefeller Plaza with progressives, communists, and fascists, even going so far as to link Mussolini, the Rockefellers (though he's never specific about which ones) and Van Jones.

Van Jones, by the way, recently resigned as Special Advisor for Green Jobs at the Council on Environmental Quality after a particularly harsh string of attacks from the right, predominantly led by Beck himself, who constantly referred to “former black nationalist, avowed communist Van Jones” as a dangerous “communist-anarchist radical.”

Though its also worth noting these smears all took place after Color of Change, an organization Van Jones co-founded, successfully convinced 57 (and counting) sponsors to cease advertising with the Glenn Beck show after Beck said President Obama was "a racist" with a "deep-seated hatred for white people."

From ColorofChange.com's homepage (emphasis added):

"Beck is on a campaign to convince the American public that President Obama's agenda is about serving the needs of Black communities at White people's expense. It's repulsive, divisive and shouldn't be on the air."

This comes as yet another in a long line of ridiculous conspiracy theories presented by the Radio Host turned Fox News Pundit.