Bong Water Now Illegal

For those who don't like to go that long without hearing a new and absurd Supreme Court ruling, the Minnesota Supreme Court has found in a split-decision that you can be charged with a 1st degree felony for possession of over 25 grams of bong water. The ruling comes after a woman was found with 37 grams (less than three tablespoons) of bong water that tested positive for methamphetamine.

As a result of the testimony of narcotics officer Rauenhorst (who was neither present for nor involved with the search in question) to the effect that drug-users sometimes save bong-water “for future use . . . either drinking it or shooting it in the veins” the woman will now more than likely go to prison for more than 7 years, even though absolutely no evidence was presented that the defendant intended to do such a disgusting thing.

You can almost hear the veins popping in the dissenting judges opinion:

The majority‟s decision to permit bong water to be used to support a first-degree felony controlled-substance charge runs counter to the legislative structure of our drug laws, does not make common sense, and borders on the absurd.
...
But if we treat the bong water as paraphernalia, the same defendant would receive a fine of no more than $300 dollars and a petty misdemeanor conviction that would not go on his or her criminal record. The disparity in the severity of the sentence between these two possible charges is enormous. This enormous disparity in sentencing severity creates ambiguity as to how the legislature intended the drug statutes to apply to the facts of this case.
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I conclude that it is also unreasonable to interpret our legislature‟s laws as punishing Peck‟s possession of two and one-half tablespoons of bong water as a more serious crime than the possession of 24 grams of cocaine, heroin, or methamphetamine. Bong water is normally not consumed, and Peck would likely have disposed of it had the police not seized it.

I'm further enraged by the courts ruling that bong water counts as a drug mixture, defining “mixture” as “a preparation, compound, mixture, or substance containing a controlled substance, regardless of purity," essentially meaning trace amounts of any drug can now be classified as full-scale possession.

Of course everyone's just going to make bad jokes about how gross bong-water tastes instead of actually standing up to this bullshit.